Final Goodbye
by UnOriginalOne
Summary: Sequel to Between Life and Death. Syd POV


Title: Final Goodbye

Author Chickiee-Dee   

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or its characters.

Summary: Sequel to Between Life and Death. Sydney POV.

Authors Notes: As promised heres the sequel to Between Life and Death. Thanks to all who reviewed that. I appreciate your feedback. When I planned these two fics, I was in a really depressed mood, (coming mainly from boredom, but also cos I was thinking about Tiff (my friend who was murdered)) so I thought that I'd write a couple of stories. I always intended to write a sequel for Between Life and Death, I just wanted a couple of days to think about how I was going to write it. I'm also trying to come up with the plot for the Unexpected Consequences sequel (look for that in the next couple of weeks) and I want to update ANSSL, TLW and SL as soon as possible. But right now on with this, please review and let me know what you think. (Criticism encouraged!)

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Final Goodbye 

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"I've made my decision, I'm going to switch off the Life Support." The doctor nodded and walked back out of the room, returning a few minutes later, a nurse in tow. They began to unhook the machines and once the ventilator was switched off, Vaughn took one last breath, before his heart stopped. "Time of death, 2:37pm." Dr Menzies and the nurse leave the room, allowing Weiss and I time to say our final goodbyes. Weiss sits next to the bed and whispers something to Vaughn that I am unable to hear before standing up and leaving me to have some privacy. I sit and take Vaughn's hand in my own, "I love you, I always have, don't forget that. You've always been my guardian angel, I guess now its true" I choke back tears and lift his hand, resting it over my heart "This, this is always yours, no one else will ever have it. I love you, goodbye baby, we'll be together again one day." I lean down and kiss his forehead, his cheeks and finally I gently kiss his lips, before I completely break down. 

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Weiss came in after he saw me break down. He literally had to lift me off Vaughn. We stood outside of that god-forsaken room for I don't know how long. All I know is once I started crying, I couldn't stop. Weiss eventually took me home, and for the first time in almost a year, I walked through my front door… _our front door._ Walking through that door again, I cracked. My body was overcome with emotion and I slid to the floor, crying at Weiss's feet. He left me for a few minutes, returning with a glass of water, before helping me onto the couch. As I sat I noticed a large stack of photo envelopes, the Wedding pictures, sitting on the coffee table. Vaughn and I had planned to look at them after we returned from the mission. Now all I wanted was to tear them up, he was gone, the only man I have ever truly loved, was taken from me and I hated the world for it. 

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Later that evening there was a knock on the door. Weiss answered it and re-appeared moments later with my father. "Sydney, I'm so" I didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence as I ran into his arms and began to cry on his chest. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around me, offering comfort. I stood in his arms for a few minutes, I could tell that he was getting sick of standing there, so I pulled myself out of his hug and sat down on the couch once again. Dad mumbled something else about being sorry and left, saying there was work that he had to do. Yeah right. I always knew that he never really liked Vaughn, but I at least thought that he'd feel sorry about his death. Honestly, I don't think he cared at all, if anything, he was glad that he was gone so then I could find someone 'more suitable.' 

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Weiss left late that night, I was touched that he stayed so long, I know for certain that I wasn't good company, still Eric didn't seem to care. I slept on the couch that night, more accurately, I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. At one stage I dragged my tired body to the bedroom, but as soon as I walked through that door, I collapsed to the floor crying, seeing the bed where Vaughn and I had shared so much, it left me unable to breathe. A few minutes later, I composed myself slightly and slowly walked over to it. I sat carefully on his side and lay down, taking in his scent as I did so. His pillows, they still smelt like him. A single tear slid down my cheek and dropped onto the soft fabric. I sat up quickly, so that my tears couldn't wash away his smell and I retreated to the living room to make one last attempt at sleep. 

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The next day I received a call from Kendall, he told me how sorry he was, I just slammed the phone down because to me, Kendall was the main reason my husband was dead. I sat down on the living room floor, staring at the pile of envelopes that were sitting there, my eyes drifting over to where a huge stack of mail sat. Weiss had been collecting the mail for us since the wedding. I thought about opening it, to take my mind off everything but after picking up the first envelope and seeing _Mr Michael Vaughn, _I stopped, throwing the object across the room, and allowing myself to cry again. Weiss came in later in the afternoon "Hey Syd, I bought you pizza." I looked up at him, tears still rolling down my cheeks, "I'm not hungry."

"Syd you have to eat."

"I don't! What's the point in me being here if Vaughn's gone?" He dropped the box on the bench and ran over to me, grabbing me in a big hug, "Syd, don't say that, you have to go on, as hard as it is. There are so many people that care about you." I fell asleep in his arms but when I woke up he was nowhere to be found. 

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Vaughn was buried four days after he died. I woke up that morning and was unable to move. Weiss came in at about ten o'clock, telling me that I had to get up and get ready. I sat there, staring into space. "No, if I go, then it'll mean that he's really gone and I don't know if I can handle that." 

"Syd, you don't have to do this alone, I'll be right there with you, I promise."

"I can't do it," I whisper. He leans down and takes my hand, pulling me up, 

"Yes you can." I look him in the eye and I can see tears glistening in them, I wrap my arms around him and after a few moments, I slowly make my way up to the bathroom to shower. Within half an hour, I'm ready to go, Weiss takes my hand and leads me out to the car. The sunlight shocked me; it was the first time I'd seen the sun in so long. It made me angry, how dare it be such a beautiful day? I'm burying my husband today and God has the nerve to make it a gorgeous day, so much like the day we became husband and wife. I sit in the car and we begin the journey to the church.

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Somehow, I'm not sure how, I walk into that little white church. Many people from the CIA are there, and they come up to me, offering their condolences. I accept them graciously, but since I've never seen them before, I decide that they were ordered to attend. I spot Kendall coming through the crowd. "Sydney" he catches my arm, turning me to face him, "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Bullshit" I state matter of factly, "You couldn't care less, if you hadn't sent us on that mission, Vaughn would still be alive." I stare at him, gauging his response, he turns a bright red and I can clearly see the anger in his eyes, "Agent Vaughn's death was not my fault." I don't have a chance to respond because Weiss grabs my arm, turning me away from Kendall, "Come on Syd, don't say something you'll regret later."

"I won't regret anything, he killed my husband, anything I say to him won't be enough, I won't be satisfied until he's dead too."

"Sydney, you don't mean that."

"Like hell I don't." I pull my arm out of his grasp and stalk to the front of the church, where Vaughn's coffin is located. Its open. I lift his cold hand, bringing it to my lips, "I love you." Carefully placing his hand back at his side, I lean over to gently kiss his forehead, its icy cold and sends shivers down my spine. I look up and find that many people are now seated. I take a seat in the front, between Weiss and my father. 

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The minister begins the service, though I can hardly hear what he is saying, I'm too focused on the coffin that sits several feet in front of me. From where I'm sitting I can just see his face. His forehead, wrinkles no longer visible; his nose, with its slight bump; his lips; the cleft in his chin; slowly my eyes make my way down his body, his form is thin, frail and seeing him lying there, knowing that it'll be the last time I see him, makes me feel sick. I love him, yet I was the one who ended his life. I'm so focused on staring at Vaughn that I don't hear the minister calling me to deliver the eulogy. Weiss squeezes my hand gently, indicating that it was time for me to speak. 

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"Michael was a kind person. He was a brave, honest, loving, caring human being. Michael told me once that he joined the CIA to honour his father's memory, that serving his country was something he'd always wanted to do. The first time I saw Vaughn, I… I… I fell head over heels in love with him. I realised he felt the same way when he showed me this" I pull out his fathers watch "His fathers watch. He told me that when his father gave it to him 'that he could set his heart by this watch. It stopped October 1st, the day we met.'" I wipe away the fresh tears that are streaming down my cheeks before continuing, "There is no person I have loved more than Michael Vaughn and there is no person I will love more than Michael Vaughn. He brought happiness and laughter even to my darkest moments and for that I will forever be grateful. He's my soulmate, my guardian angel and the love of my life." I walk back down to my seat, passing Vaughn as I did so and I collapsed into my seat next to Weiss, tears trickling down my cheeks, dampening my dress. 

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After the funeral service was conducted, we proceeded to the cemetery that was to be Vaughn's final resting place. I settled in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs, and stared into space. I vaguely heard the minister conclude the service and I watched as Vaughn's coffin was lowered into the ground. I heard soft footsteps on the grass and looked up to see an unfamiliar face staring back at me. He handed me a wooden box and shook me hand. I didn't make eye contact with him and a few seconds later he walked away. I stood up and threw a single rose into Vaughn's grave and quickly turned away, heading towards Weiss's car. More than anything I wanted to be home, I wanted to wake up and find this was all a dream. I pinched myself for the hundred-millionth time, since Vaughn was first shot. It hurt, this wasn't a dream, I had just buried my husband. Weiss came up behind me and we climbed in the car, driving towards where the wake was to be held.

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When we arrived at the hall, I quickly found myself a corner to hide in. I was sick of people who I had never met telling me 'how sorry they were for my loss.' I surveyed the room but was unable to locate my father. I rolled my eyes, I didn't expect him to come to Vaughn's funeral, hell he was probably celebrating somewhere. I'd been sitting there for almost an hour when someone approached me, I looked up, it was another unfamiliar face. "Mrs Vaughn, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Why would you be? I've never seen you before in my life."

"I just wanted to offer my condolences."

"Please just leave." They turned away and walked back to the small crowd of people in the centre of the room. Shortly after that Weiss took me home. I sat myself on the couch and began to sob. 

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Late that night, I climbed into the car and drove towards the cemetery, I wanted to be close to him, I needed to be close to him. I walked silently towards the fresh mound of dirt and sat upon it, eventually lying my tired body down and drifting off into a restless sleep. Dad found me the next morning. He practically had to drag me home, "I don't want to go home, I can't live without him" I screamed as Dad dragged me through the rows of headstones and sat me in the car. He carried me inside and sat me back down on the couch. "Sydney, as hard as it is, you have to go on. You'll find love again, you'll be happy again. Please sweetie, you have to live, don't do this to yourself" he said, obviously referring to the fact that I hadn't eaten since I was told that Vaughn was brain dead. My body was frail and I had lost several pounds. My cheeks were beginning to sink in and I had enormous bags under my eyes. I nodded slowly, I knew that Vaughn wouldn't want me to fade away, that he'd want me to go on with my life. "Its just so hard" I said, crying in Dads arms. He wrapped his arms around me, allowing me to cry in his arms for several hours. 

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Almost a week after the funeral, I finally gathered up enough courage to look at our wedding photos and the accompanying videotape. I spent most of the afternoon looking through the pictures, smiling at our happiness, glad that I had known him for as long as I did. As each day went by, the pile of mail got smaller and after a week, I had successfully opened all of it. I visited Vaughn as often as possible, sometimes just sitting on the decreasing mound of dirt, always placing fresh flowers in front of the headstone. 

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Six months later I returned to work at the CIA. I was slowly beginning to adjust to life without my husband. I still cried myself to sleep frequently, and I hadn't yet been able to throw any of his stuff out. Going on that first mission was quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Kendall had assigned me a new partner Agent Harding. Our initial relationship reminded me so much of Vaughn and I, we fought constantly, he always seemed to think that he was right and it just pissed me off. Weiss was so amazing after Vaughn died. He was always there for me when I needed to talk and he cried with me. I appreciated his friendship so much.

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One blustery afternoon I found myself at the cemetery, sitting in front of Vaughn's headstone "Hey baby" I began with my traditional greeting "I miss you so much. Nothings the same now your not here with me. Kendall sent me and Harding to Rome, god that guy pisses me off. He's almost as bad as Haladki. He keeps hitting on me, its so annoying. Honestly I just want to rip his balls off. I hate him so much. I wish you were here, everything would be so much easier, you could be there to kick Harding's arse for hitting on me and we could be together" I wipe the tears from my eyes, "Everyone's telling me to start dating again, I don't know if I should, I'd feel so guilty, like I was cheating on you or something. I know it sounds stupid, but maybe, maybe they're right. I love you babe, never forget that. I've gotta go, mission to prep for. I love you." I kiss my hand and place it on the grass that has grown. "Goodbye Vaughn." I turn and leave, that was my final goodbye. 

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The End 

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A/N: What did you think? Was the ending totally corny? Was the whole thing crap? Review and let me know. Until next time, LOL Alyce :D 


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